Self harm can come in many forms, it is a deliberate act to cause injury or harm to the body. There are different terms that you may hear linked to self harm, like self injury, or self mutilation.

Some more common forms of self harm include:

• Cutting

• Punching, hitting and scratching

• Choking, constricting of the airway

• Self-biting of hands, limbs, tongue, lips, or arms

• Picking at wounds, ulceration, sutures, or blemishes

• Burning, including cigarette burns, and self-incendiarism (as well as eraser burns)

• Stabbing self with wire, pins, needles, nails, staples, or pens

• Ingesting corrosive chemicals, batteries, or pins

• Self-poisoning; for example by over-dosing on medication and/or alcohol, without suicidal intent

Less common forms of self harm can involve more serious injuries like the amputation of limbs, this usually occurs when the person is experiencing severe psychosis.

Self harm serves different purposes for each individual, but for the majority of people who self harm it is a private act that remains hidden for many years, even from family and spouses. Wounds and scars are often concealed with items of clothing, or they offer different reasons for them, for example ‘the cat scratched me’

It can be very difficult for friends and family to understand self-injurious behaviour. However, it is important that they try not to make negative remarks and accept that the behaviour is a way for the person to cope with difficult feelings. It can be very distressing to discover that a loved one is self harming but it is vital that you mask your shock and or fearful reactions because the person is then unlikely to ask you for support if they think it will course you distress.

However if you are accepting of the person then you can be a valuable source of support by giving them the opportunity to talk about their feelings without fear of judgement. It is also important to accept that the person may not want your help with regard to self harm and in this case you must respect their privacy. Where the individual seems willing to accept your help then it is important to be clear on exactly what support they would like from you. Sometimes just being around can help reduce self harm. Firstly because you are available if they want to talk and secondly, because harming behaviours most frequently appear when the person is alone.

Do not try to prevent the self harm from occurring by trying to lay down rules. You must remember that no one wants to hurt themselves but this is the only way in which they can deal with the painful emotions they are experiencing. If the person is forced to stop the self harming behaviour without having another coping mechanism to fall back then it is possible they may attempt to take their own life.