In a chat room it is possible to:-

• Create personal profiles
• Hold private conversations
• Play games
• Hold discussions on any number of topics

Although, if used correctly, chat rooms can be a fun way of making friends and getting to know people over the internet, the dangers begin to surface when things move on from the chat room to email, telephone conversations and then, finally, face to face meetings which may involve a child unwittingly arranging to meet someone who they genuinely believe to be of like mind and age but who may, in reality, turn out to be a predator intent on causing the child harm.

Of course predators do not start initially by sexually propositioning a child as this would curtail any chance of a meeting immediately. The whole situation is processed gradually and often vulnerable children are targeted; the ones who do not appear to say very much in the chat room and those who appear to readily express agreement. The predator is hoping that the quieter, more reserved participants, are more likely to be lonely and looking for attention and these are the children who are more likely to be targeted. Often, by the time the predator has arranged to meet the child, they have already succumbed to their charms and they are then more likely to trust the person and submit to their advances.

Although we must not lose sight of the fact that the internet is a wonderful tool; it is a quick way for young people to find information, help them to study and, of course, keep in touch with their friends as well as meeting new ones, what we must bear in mind is that the internet is also an easy tool for child abuse and fraud. Using the internet appropriately and sensibly will not cause problems, however overuse of the internet is both addictive and unhealthy and it is important that parents supervise their children closely whilst they are using this kind of equipment.

Set some ground rules if you are intending to allow your child to use the internet so that you can be sure that they are safe online.

Ground rules for using the internet safely:-

• Put the computer in a “family room” rather than allowing your child to have one in their bedroom. This way you can supervise them whilst they are online. Make sure the monitor faces outwards so that you can see, at all times, what is on the screen.

• Learn about computers and chat rooms yourself. Try out a chat room and see how they work for yourself so that you will be able to completely understand what your child is getting into.

• Visit the websites children use to make sure that they are suitable.

• Invest in software filters which block access to unsuitable websites and those with sexual content. However, be aware that these filters do not totally ensure that internet use is safe and you must still take an active interest in the sites you allow your child to access.

• Limit the amount of time you allow your child to spend on the internet. Spending too much time online is unhealthy and can become addictive.

• Make sure that you discuss which sites you are happy for your child to browse and which are off limits.

• Make sure that your child tells you if someone is asking them unsuitable questions or trying to glean information they are unhappy divulging.

• Make sure that your child is completely aware of the dangers posed by the internet and that they never reveal their real name, address, home or mobile telephone numbers or any other personal details.

• Never allow your child to post photographs of themselves on the internet.

• Never allow your child to arrange to meet someone they have been in contact with over the internet.

It is absolutely vital that children understand that, because they can’t actually “see” the person they are in contact with over the internet, there is a possibility that the person they are in contact with is not actually who they are pretending to be. Many paedophiles pose as children to gain trust prior to arranging to meet someone in person.

Always make sure that children know that they can talk to you and if, when using the internet, someone starts to ask them questions which make them feel uncomfortable, make sure that they know that they must tell you immediately. Discuss ground rules with the children and, before allowing them access to the internet, ensure that they agree to abide by these rules.

As a parent or carer you need to be aware of the warning signs which may point to the fact that a child is developing problems whilst using the internet. You should be concerned if your child:-

• Spends an unhealthy number of hours “logged on”.

• Becomes secretive when using the computer.

• Suddenly starts to take more interest in sexual matters or starts to ask questions relating to sexual matters.

• Starts to have trouble sleeping.

• Begins to change their usual routine for no apparent reason.

• Starts arranging to meet people and are reluctant to tell you where they are going or who they are going with.

If you notice any of the above signs you should consider whether the internet has anything to do with the child’s change in behaviour. Look at their emails and ask them questions about their use of the internet to get to the bottom of things.