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| Teenagers & Boundaries |
All children need boundaries and teenagers
are no exception. Many teenagers start to feel that they are grown
up and should be allowed the freedom to choose what they want to
do and how they wish to behave and, whilst it is very important
to remember that the teenage years are a testing time for both the
young person and their parents, it is also important to remember
that they are not yet adults and they still need guidance and protection. |
It is impossible for parents and
carers to protect teenagers if they do not know where they are or
who they are with and, despite the fact that many teenagers will
moan if you ask them about their whereabouts and what time they
expect to be home, it is also true to say that many teenagers will
understand your concern and will actually be very thankful of your
willingness to protect them – although very few will admit it!
Difficulties will arise however if parents and carers are unwilling to let go and the teenager begins to feel suffocated by their parents willingness to protect them. Children need to learn about life and this includes understanding and reacting to dangers and difficult circumstances and the only way they can positively learn these things is to be allowed to experience them. As with younger children you need to be realistic when setting boundaries for teenagers and take into account their growing need for independence. When setting boundaries consider the following:-
It is important that teenagers understand that
they will be expected to keep their side of the bargain and that
they need to prove that they can be responsible if you are to extend
the boundaries. Talk to your teenager and explain why you have certain
ground rules and why you expect them to be met. If you set a time
for them to come home by make sure that they understand that you
mean what you say and that sanctions will be made if they cannot
show responsibility. Work with your teenager not against them and
ask for their opinions. Make it clear that in order for them to
be seen as a responsible member of society they need to act like
one and that respect has to be earned. |
